Wednesday, September 30, 2009

dil bole dont bother!

what was rani mukherji thinking really? i'd be shocked if i found a single person who could sincerely say he/she liked the movie "dil bole hadippa"! what could possibly go wrong when you steal an old shakespearian concept, which has already been done before in movies like "she's the man" and that cute barbara streisand movie 'yentl'... i mean all u have to do is make a decent 'copy'! turns out aditya chopra can't even do that decently enough!

it's not like 'she's the man' made perfect sense, it didn't. at least it doesn't start with amanda bynes being super-woman who beats all the boys without even training with them! look, i'm all for women's equality and stuff like that, but seriously, i know the amount of upper body strength someone needs to send a ball flying sixes... and then six times in a row! and dont forget, she's "left te right hand-batsman"! wonder what dhoni has to say about that.

rani should be an expert with the punjabi accent by now considering her so-called 'calibre' and the fact that she's been with the chopras forever. but everytime she says "chak de phattey" or anything else that every non-punjabi bollywood follower has mastered as a compulsory second language, you can't help but wince. speaking of accents, hasn't aditya chopra ever met or heard a london-based indian? i mean seriously, who would ever believe that shahid is an nri from london? i mean this chopra dude does zero directing, includes 'ik onkar, satnam' (which is another thing every avid bollywood watcher has learnt by heart) and the golden temple in EVERY, E V E R Y movie and expects it to work! wha..!? sure u need a lot of prayers adi, but u need to work too. didn't anyone tell you that god helps those who help themselves!

not one character has depth in this "showcase for rani" movie. oh wait! are there any characters apart from rani-girl and rani-boy? granted this woman looks absolutely adorable as a lil sikh boy, and she's pretty... so? dude, thats just not enough for this movie to work! what with the unbelievable super-powers of veera/veer, and the poor dialogue, worse delivery, absolute lack of jokes, no real bollywood masala, no drama (that makes any sense), heck even the music is unimpressive! there's also this foolish talk in the movie of indian values and "sadda desh punjab"(which is a state not a desh...hello!) which is so not required! seriously one yash chopra movie after the year 2000, and we've seen them all ! and pray tell me why there are some random farmers standing next to the road with their wives doing a puja in the middle of the day? just so the modern/skimpily clad/bad girl miss chandigarh can mock an indian practice and the true desi/good girl/always in tight trendy kurtas and patialas can come to the rescue with some lame old same old monologue that we've heard ever since the beginning of time, thus making the hero and his father (most importantly) fall in love with the "truly indian" heroine! yawn!

since the only important cricket match in an indian's life is one played with pakistan, and as bollywood is under the impression that india=punjab=india and there's nothing else that matters.. we have our 'aman cup' to fight for, amritsar vs pakistan.. yay (not!) ..

absolutely nothing to look out for in this half-hearted attempt at a film! what a waste! at least there was no kiron kher grating on our nerves to add to the pain...shudder...

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