Monday, March 26, 2012

moving to JLT - part 1


just as i was getting over the newness of my shoes, i have some more "new" to obsess about. we've just moved office, and i now work in a tower by the sparkling lakes of jumeirah! we still have to figure out if that's a good thing. i, personally hated having to move, mainly because this place is more than an hour away from home - by metro! the old place was only ten minutes by cab. this means that i now have to destroy the snooze button on the phone if ever want to get to work when it's still morning!


public transport and i are like this married couple who are in it only for the kids. i hate public transport, and public transport hates me, but i don't think i'm ever getting a license and i REALLY need to get from place to place. thus remain we matrimonious. it also bothers me that it'll now take me more than an hour to get back home in the evening; after being pushed around, stepped on, coughed on, breathed on, stink-eyed at and almost killed on the metro, i doubt anyone has energy enough to go buy some shoes have a life.

if you think i'm exaggerating about the whole metro sitch... i tsk-tsk at your naiveté, while shaking my head from side to side (not in the indian-stereotype bobblehead way, but in the "oh-no-no" sort of way). the metro is a demon i tell you! a demon! especially early in the morning.

yesterday, i went to the metro station early in the morning all set for my first day at the new office. my enthusiasm could only be compared to that of mister spongebob squarepants (respect). i was shiny eyed and enthusiatic - fully equipped with a lipsticked smile, new umbrella, new shoes and a new key-chain for my new key. i could smell me, and i smelt new and fresh!

i floated peacefully down the escalator humming "it's a good day" the theme song from spongebob squarepants, when suddenly i realized that people were chasing past me half knocking me down. didn't wordsworth feel this way once?

" i floated lonely as a cloud
that floats on high o'er vales and hills,
when all at once i saw a crowd,
a host of crazy metro-takers!
beside the stairs, beneath the escalator,
running over innocents on the way. "

strange man, that wordsworth. doesn't even rhyme.

anyway, moving back to my story. after my near-death experience on the escalator, i realised that this was war; not some spring in my step, wind in my hair, song on my lips setting like the one in my head. i watched in horror as people pushed themselves and others further into the overly crowded metro, fighting for space. pretty little girls in pretty little clothes and pretty little shoes with pretty little lunch boxes were like hardened warriors. i was still standing there with my eyes wide open, shaking slightly, sweating profusely gulping the biggest gulp ever gulped, and the doors of the metro clapped shut and slid away, leaving behind the weak and defeated.

sour grapes have become my favorite fruit. so i figure i didn't have go that early anyway, and i could easily catch the next one in five minutes. besides the platform looks sort of empty, and the few people that were there were hardly a threat... heh heh... hadn't i just witnessed their poor performance? i was confident. the next one it is. when the clock said that the next train would be there in one minute, there was suddenly this new army of people flying down the escalator, the elevator and the staircase!

what? where do these people come from? and why are there still so many cars on the roads? how early do these people wake up?

while nobody answered any of my questions, i missed my train.


man these people are fast.
and smart.
and determined.
and SCARY!



  1. :D...funny chickaaaa...kinda like the mumbai trains..excpet noones ever left behind!!!... thy're on the rooftops..;)!!

    1. yea i know!!! reminded me of mumbai too... :) it's crazy, you gotta see it to believe it!

  2. You are one hilarious writer! <3 I loved it so much!

    1. this one's specially written for you!! i forced myself to be inspired so i wouldn't let you down ;)

  3. %{<]%]>|<.<|^*{€€\><%\<,],\%>\??%\%

    Oh I forgot, you have an only English rule for the blog

  4. You're funny dude... just write... forget everything else... :)

    1. i is lazy... :P
      thanks budding psychopath who hasn't written since the endangered art of listening.' ,:-/