Sunday, March 11, 2012

women and shoes - a love story


“Besides, I'd seen a really nice pair of shoes yesterday in the mall and I wanted them for my own. I can't describe the feeling of immediate familiarity that rushed between us. The moment I clapped eyes on them I felt like I already owned them. I could only suppose that we were together in a former life. That they were my shoes when I was a serving maid in medieval Britain or when I was a princess in ancient Egypt. Or perhaps they were the princess and I was the shoes. Who's to know? Either way I knew that we were meant to be together.”
― Marian Keyes, Watermelon


there's only a few things that can compare to the joy that comes with a new pair of shoes. did i hear someone say "shallow, much?"... i choose to ignore you, 'coz i've got happy feet, and i'm no penguin.

as much as i try to do everything i can to not fit the "girl" stereotype, i will admit, with some shame that retail therapy has this way of forcing me to conform. for a while now, i've been on a self-preservation trip, though. my constant, pathetic, almost pointless battle with the bulge has driven me to take the umpteenth commandment of the new world very seriously;

"thou shalt buy not new clothes until thou hath lost-eth all thine extra weight. Eth".

this was necessary. getting myself pretty new clothes every time i put on some weight was only leading to a shrinking wallet and an exploding wardrobe...and waistline. what happens next is heart-wrenching.

"i have nothing to wear," she said, staring vacantly at a closet so full it could die.

DRAMATIC PAUSE.

someone had to put an end to the madness and the constant whining. since positive reinforcement was clearly doing otherwise, i decided to climb on to the wagon of constraint. and that is how i bid farewell to one of generation-SATC's most reliable forms of therapy.

will-power is not something i can boast of. so, to be fair, my new life of abstinence is partly a product of there being no other choice. don't you just hate it when you like something at a store and try it on and it just looks wrong? and you know it's because you could stand to lose a few. you might end up taking the next size they have, thinking "hey if i'm going to look like a tent, might as well look like a pretty tent"... except you still look like a tent. FAIL!

fine. seriously, no new clothes until the trips to the gym start showing.

according to our good friend wiki, retail therapy is shopping with the primary purpose of improving the buyer's mood or disposition. it's not the same as being a shopaholic. plus PMS does not understand concepts like 'operant conditioning' or 'will power' or 'abstinence'. how can you 'nurse your psychic ills' without therapy?

SHOES!

those wonderful friends who keep your feet on the ground (prettily, i might add). those shiny sparklies that take your mind off what you can't have. those gorgeous beings that don't keep shoving the fat-card in your face! that's why women love shoes. and that's why allan sherman said, "you want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. a shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't hurt you too deeply either. and there are so many nice-looking shoes."

and that's what i did last weekend. i went and bought four pairs of shoes. <3 love is in the air.

- x - o - x -

"i did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, i had one thousand and sixty." - imelda marcos

7 comments:

  1. You're funny - hilarious funny!!!! :-D :-*

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  2. You cant buy new clothes so you buy new shoes...how true!!!! Awesome loved it :D

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  3. Hear Hear!!!

    So true, babe - Bought a new pair too - they're silver.
    Clothes on the other hand...eh!

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  4. Lov lov lov......write more

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