Sunday, August 12, 2012

diary of a lumpy chick

i know i've become repetitive with stuff i have to say to the world at large, but that's because weight-loss and other related avocations make up for at least 85% (i'm being kind here) of  what goes on in the mind of a struggling woman of generous proportions. stop judging!

okay so impending weddings are known to inspire fatties to at least try and get their act together. i lost 8 kilos last year about two months before a wedding... and i was so impressed with my own success that i rewarded myself everyday since then and then quite ironically (as expected) was almost where i started come wedding time.


this time i'm serious. i am 17 kilos away from my ideal weight and 5 months away from the wedding. my attempts in the last few weeks were half hearted, lame and unsuccessful, and i am caught between two opposing plans: making an unrealistic goal and meeting it halfway OR making a not so exciting realistic goal and actually getting there. but then again, i suck at planning. need of the hour - inspiration.

i've been scouring the internet for encouragement ('coz the people around me are too busy rolling their eyes or holding back a mean-spirited laugh to help... where is the love, y'all?) and what i found are before and after pictures of  raven-symoné, jennifer hudson and jordin sparks and i can't decide if i'm motivated or just... not.


this isn't the first time i've seen these pictures and others like it, but every time i look at them i'm like wha' tha!!! i try to look up what it was that they did to get where they are; and that's where things either get confusing, or worse reach a dead-end. 

for example, jordin says "smaller portions, hiking and making smarter food choices" is what it took. hudson had a similar game plan; "a strict NO to carbohydrates in her food and constant exercising".

and, raven? yea she apparently just "stopped stressing" and lost 35 pounds. 

OH-KAY... that's the magic of disney for you. but if you ask me, she looked happier when she was ... howjsay... wide-ish? now she just looks pissed off. 

back to my problem (we'll save pathological lying for another post). i don't know how much time i have to accommodate this "constant exercising" in my life. i go swimming most days, and walk to and from the metro station (to and from work that is), and clearly that's doing nothing. and the smart food choices and no carbs thing just sounds so difficult! i mean i've tried it, and i manage for a few days and then i just die. i'm still trying to "acquire" that taste for green tea without having to control my gag reflex while looking like i urgently need an exorcist.  

i really need to fit into all these amazing clothes and nothing's happening... the weighing scale laughs at me in the morning and looks disgusted in the evening. bulges that i try to disguise in the morning somehow seem to have reproduced little baby bulges by evening. most of the time i'm just hungry or crabby or just craving some sugar. 

ugh! damn you adipose!

maybe i really should just stop stressing. 

now, where's that snickers bar i just saw a minute ago?

1 comment:

  1. Wow - I so do get u....there's so much we need to chat about....was so there about a month ago....Rawsh I miss u....let's fix up a chat date.